Make Way for the Kitten Swarm

We Have to Skin the Badder

I'll wear it's skin as a coat!

The party arrived in Beertown to collect the bounty for the ferocious mutant panda they slew at the request of the town council. After collecting their reward, the party decided to spend some time in the local bar, to relax.

Okay, Dodk decided to spend time in the bar, but Nerth and the kittens followed.

After being rejected by every woman in the bar, Dodk decided to drown his sorrows in alcohol, like he usually does. While the ladies played with the kitten swarm, Nerth asked the bartender if there was anything going on that they should know about. The bartender replied that a group of badders had attacked the other day, and that it would be really helpful if someone got rid of them.

At the drunken urgings of Dodk, (presumably because he thought being heroic would impress the ladies,) the party set out immediately to the nearby badder warren to resolve the dispute. A single guard stood at the entrance and was immediately dispatched by Dodk’s horrible bug acid. Nerth decided that the best way to infiltrate the warren would be to skin the dead Badder and make Dodk wear the acid-soaked skin as a disguise, which he did, because everyone in this party is a horrible, horrible person.

After dispatching a few more badders, Dodk somehow managed to notice a secret door while drunk off his ass. Nerth hacked into the computer keeping the door locked and the party investigated, finding a room filled with computers and a single hoop, who was clearly up to something. Several minutes of hacking later, Nerth managed to figure out that the hoop was somehow manipulating the badders for his own personal gain, which is why they attacked Beertown. They left the hoop in his secret room and went to explore the rest of the warren.

After replacing Dodk’s acid-soaked badder skin coat with a new, not-acidic one from the badders they killed earlier, (HORRIBLE PEOPLE) the party stumbled into the throne room of Borin the Fierce, Warrior-King of the Badder Raiders. Borin explained that his god, Badgerton the Mighty, had given him direct orders to attack Beertown, take anything valuable they had, and leave the valuables unattended in the warren for several hours. Nerth managed to figure out that the hoop from earlier was sending Borin messages through a radio receiver in his crown.

After several minute of shenanigans during which Nerth almost got pounded into scrap metal by an angry badger man, Borin was informed by “his god” (Nerth figuring out the crown’s radio frequency) that the hoop was a false prophet and should be spread into a fine paste on the wall, which he was. The party rejoiced and left for Beertown to claim their reward, after ensuring that the badders wouldn’t raid it anymore.

When the party returned to Beertown, this happened:

Rock bottom final

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TheAwkwardTurtle

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